Questions of the day

I saw these two related memes out there: which movie scenes make you cry and which make you laugh?

The crying one's easy:

Dumbo, where the mum elephant is locked up and she cradles Dumbo in her trunk. It bums me out just thinking about it.

The Snowman. The whole bloody thing - the music, the angelic singing, the fantastic animation, the idealized childhood in a country farmhouse, the inevitable melting scene. Oops, I didn't spoil it for you, did I?

Finding Neverland. That little Freddie Highmore is a phenomenal actor, and adds real pathos to kind of a cheesy tearjerker. Mykull and I bawled like babies when we saw this, much to the chagrin of my son.

I also have to put in a shout out for the anti-drug commercial where the old lady is waiting for her grandkid to show up for dinner (except he or she is out getting wasted instead), and she optimistically rearranges the cutlery over and over again. Even the transcript is sad.

And the ones that make me laugh:

Meet The Parents. The water volleyball scene makes me laugh everytime. The speedo, the social discomfort, the blood-letting. I know Ben Stiller is ubiquitous, but he's still hilarious.

Napoleon Dynamite. The dance scene of course. It's funny and heart-warming, and I know this is not a mainstream opinion, strangely sexy. Shut up.

The Big Lebowski. So many moments. Donnie's ashes blowing back all over everyone, da Jesus in his jumpsuit, Walter's Vietnam rants, the incessant swearing. Actually, anything the Coen brothers do is funny.

And, I have to saw, just the sight of Rowan Atkinson's rubbery face.

I'll add another question. Which movies can you never, ever watch again? Mine are:

Requiem for a Dream. My god, this movie is harrowing. I didn't even want to pop a Midol for weeks afterwards.

Trainspotting. The dead baby on the ceiling did it for me. Also, you need nerves of steel to to even read Irvine Welsh, in spite of the fact he's a fabulous writer. He'll sap any faith in the goodness of humanity out of you.

Dancer in the Dark. Bjork is amazing in this. Unfair, bad stuff just keeps on happening. And the end is just about unwatchable, it's so tragic. In my opinion, Lars Von Trier has a dark heart that's two sizes too small. Opinions, please, readers!