Cheeky Questions
I think this topic popped into my head, because it seems like whatever you do on the Internet, you have to answer a bunch of nosy questions. It got me thinking about cheeky questions that people ask. Here's some that people have asked me in the past:
What is having a period like? I think this is probably a question adolescent and immediately post-adolescent boys ask their girlfriends, and my stock answer is 'Exactly how you think it would be like', which is a cop-out I know. But honestly, do you think the average adolescent boy really wants to know? Here's the official answer.
Have you fallen out with your family? Usually asked by people who live near their family, and have never moved away from them. No, I love and miss everyone in my family very much, I just have a good life here, and it's scary and hard to think of relocating back home on my own.
Have you always been fat? I'm sorry, but if you ask me this, you're a bitch. No, I haven't always been this fat but I have never been teeny either. And, have you always been that ugly?
Do you worry about your son growing up without a dad? Well, duh. But what is the point of worrying about something I have no control over? I try and do the best I can, thanks for pointing out my deficiencies.
Here's some questions I would love to ask people, but don't have the nerve:
Yes, I am insecure and judgemental; why do you ask?
This kind of shocked me; apparently one in four Americans feels like they have no close friends. If you consider that 55% (or thereabouts) of Americans have a partner (and therefore presumably, have at least one close friend), that means that about half of all single people feel completely friendless. That is astonishing and sad.
I love this dress. It's a pretty good deal too.
That hot dog eating competition grosses me out. Over 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes? It makes me feel queasy just to think about it. Reading about training for competitive eating makes me barf a little in my mouth.
posted by Marianne @ 8:35 PM
5 Comments:
I rob piggy banks; I immediately spend everything on cheap wine and snacks high in simple starches; you don't know him like I do; I'm sure I think I'm more of an asshole than you do; no; low self-esteem paradoxically leads to egomania; and yes.
People actually ask you that shit? Seriously? We're trying to have a society here!
those questions aren't just cheeky - they're really rude!
i always wonder how people can afford major purchases when they don't seem to work. that's a big one for me.
that ruffly dress is awesome.
and speaking as someone who has tried to *restrict* their eating for a lifetime, the thought of "gurgitation" makes me ill. and naturally the thin people do best! somehow that doesn't seem fair. but The Black Widow and Kobayashi are more than a little freakish.
OK those people are severely socially inept if they are asking you those questions.
Of the ones you want to ask others, there are two that ring particularly true for me at the moment.
• Do you have any idea what an asshole you are? (I bet you can guess who I'd love to ask this question after hearing my rants recently)
• Am I pretty? (I rarely think I am!)
You, though? No question. Gorgeous.
By the way, I say "How come" to mean "why" also. Can you tell me if that's a particularly American expression? Wait. Is that question cheeky/rude?
One last point for the neverending comment: some of the questions people asked you that were rude would, for me at least, seem less rude or not at all rude depending on who's asking and why they wanted to know.
I didn't mean to be quite so blatantly fishing for compliments, but thank you, my beautiful, beautiful friends!
Some people seem to have loads of disposable income and no job. And they all live on my street.
I think the period question is kind of understandable, the family question is rooted in naivete, the fat question very rude, and the father question just sort of clueless.
charlotte goes to NYC for the hot dog eating contest every year. last year she made a sign that said "swallow, sonya, swallow" which got onto the ESPN broadcast.
i didn't see this year's sign ("suck 'em down, sonya") in the crowd, darnit.
did i mention that charo used to be vegetarian?
anyway, not to utterly gross everyone out, but did you hear about the kobayashi controversy? apparently he had a "reversal" into his cup (standing next to him, 2nd place finisher joey chestnut apparently saw it and started gesticulating wildly) but kobayashi *re-swallowed* it and the judge let it pass.
official rules require automatic disqualification if there's a "reversal of fortune" but apparently there's no stipulation for *un*-reversal.
ugh.
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