Really Happy New Year

I feel like the first week of the New Year doesn't quite feel like a fresh start yet, more like wrapping up the Kwanukahmas season. And it's hard to start any resolutions while you still have leftovers and/or hangovers. Rather than think of January 1 as New Year's, I think I'll think of it as the circumcision of Jesus, and the New Year can begin on Epiphany.

Once the holiday tree or bush gets tossed, though - then it feels like a new year. And in that spirit, I make public my resolutions, and the rationale behind them. I've already shared them with some of you, but I might have a better shot of sticking to them if they're even more public:

I resolve not to resolve to lose weight, which I do almost every year. And I do lose weight almost every year, and then put it on again. I'm your classic yo-yo dieter. So this year, I'm going to strive to live more healthfully, eat better (five servings of fruit and veggies a day, less refined food) and continue to exercise at least three times a week, which is one good habit I kept up with last year.

I resolve to spend more time in nature (not au naturel but in natural settings). Whenever I do this, I'm glad I carved out the time. Going for a walk in the woods or canoeing or even just having a picnic can de-stress you like no amount of alcohol or sleep or eating chocolate can.

I resolve to knit stuff people have asked me to knit in the order they asked me (sorry Stewie - I know you've been waiting a long time for that hedgehog!). I have quite a long list but I'm afraid I've forgotten a lot, so put in your requests! Time related (i.e. baby) items trump anything on the list, and I can see at least one of those on the horizon, so that's my only caveat.

I resolve to be more accepting of my size and my looks in general, whilst living the healthiest way that is practical (sort of the emotional component of my first resolution). I'm not going to get any younger, and while I may or may not get thinner, I'll still be me-shaped, which is not a fashionable shape.

I resolve to continue to expand my social life independantly of my son, but kindly and slowly, for both him and me.

I resolve to reduce my feelings of guilt (about every area of my life!), and treat myself like I would treat a friend instead of beating myself up. I have really struggled with this in the past, but this past year, I feel like I've at least become more aware of it. I can literally lie awake all night feeling guilty about my job, money, my son, my parents, my nephew, my old age, my weight - it goes on and on. And what does that accomplish - nothing!

I resolve to be grateful for the many wonderful things I have in my life; health, a beautiful, smart, kind son, a cozy house, fantastic friends, a job I really love, and a comfortable, if modest life. Though I absolutely refuse to call them "blessings". Is it indicative of anything that clicking that last link brings up an empty page for me?