O Tannenbaum

We put up our Christmas tree this weekend; this is my favorite part of Christmas. Then it's the music; then the food; then the lazing around; then the presents. My son told me it made him sad that it was just the two of us this Christmas. Whoa fuck. My edifice of sisters-doing-it-for-themselves was temporarily dismantled for a couple of hours and I had a secret cry. Then in the mail that day, I got a catalog for 12 Muses Cruises which depressed me even more, as obviously I am on some mailing list somewhere as being chronically single and therefore likely to be an 'open-minded woman'. Not that there's anything wrong with that at all, except for the fact that I am probably only score maybe a one in 'open-mindedness' on the Kinsey scale.

But then on the same day, I got an e-mail from one of the dads at my son's old school which was very complimentary ('Oh, Marianne, how can I convince you that I adore you?') and made me feel better.

And if I feel too sorry for myself, I do my Cockney Christmas schtick, which always makes me laugh (if no-one else):

'Cor Blimey, we'll have a right good Christmas, we will. The master'll send us some food from the big 'ouse, and he'll give us an 'arf day, he will, right after we get back from church. And you won't 'afta climb no chimneys neefer. And 'er ladyship's given us an orange for Toiny Tim, seein' it's 'is last Christmas an' all. Oooh, we'll have a fair ol' do, we will'

Anyway, I've seen a couple of interesting ideas for Christmas presents:

The Bulge. Looks like they don't have the European hooded version. This will go down (har-de-har) a treat at your next corporate gift exchange.

Kitschy Christian gifts. I like #4, the Nativitimer, for making sure you leaven your bread for just the right amount of time.

Speaking of Christianity, I have been kind of intrigued with an ad on Metafilter for a book. That guy's face is so calculatedly Jesus-y. I can just imagine him with the stylist for the photo shoot: 'Errr... could you matte up my beard a bit more so I look like I've spent 40 days in the desert and am completely non-materialistic? Did you get that beatific smile? I think a middle part, don't you, to get that Last Supper vibe? Easy on the make-up, don't want to look like Osama'.

I saw a link to this article about stay-at-home feminists on Bitch Phd, which basically states that women have a disadvantage in their careers because they take on the housework. Very interesting. I personally believe the problem is not with women doing housework or believing it's their job, but in the fact that maintaining a family and looking after children is chronically undervalued in this country. I think farming out household chores and childcare to those further down the economic ladder, as suggested, is not the right approach, but it is a very American one. Maybe we should all embrace the lazy slut within (or without).