What the heck

An easy post here. I like this better than burning CDs!

Ten Things

I got tagged by Von Jerrystein.

These are jobs I've had, outside my main career, since I was fourteen: waitress, cocktail waitress, dish washer, cleaner, chamber maid, short order cook, working in a pie factory, shop assistant, lab technician, picking up trash at the Golf Open on the Old Course, making crafts for sale at the Scottish Craft Centre, freelance catering, babysitting, fruit picking, and potato lifting.

I once got stung by a dozen yellow jackets at once

I caught measles twice when I was a kid

I once spoke only French for a month when I was staying with my grandmother's friend in Switzerland and it was the only language we had in common

These are countries I've visited or lived in: Scotland, England, Denmark, France, Switzerland, Germany, Yugoslavia, Austria, Italy, Fiji Islands, New Zealand, Malaysia, Thailand, Hong Kong, South Korea, Jamaica, USA. My favorite is New Zealand

My sister lived in Chapel Hill twenty years ago when I still lived in Scotland. Now she lives in London.

My ex-husband's second wife (I was number three) was a Playboy Bunny. It took me a while to get past that.

My favorite food ever is white truffle.

For years and years, I used to have an apple and an orange for lunch (from about ages 14 to 21). I know that's pretty fucked up but there you are.

My hands, feet and head are ginormous for a chick. I have a hard time with hats and my feet are size 11. I think I'm really a man in disguise. Now - who to tag? There's so much overlap in this incestuous blog world, and a bunch of us seem in hiatus mode. So - leave your ten things in the comments, and tag whoever you want. I hate rules, man.

Plus ca change

Stealing from Jerry's playbook. The hair, the pants, the falsetto (the last two may or may not be connected)

Me, me, meme

So, I've managed to defer posting the contents of the deluge of excellent mix CDs I've received recently in favor of this very intriguing meme, courtesy of Jerrysan and originating from Ms. Stewison.

Below are five questions devised especially for moi by Jerry, and my answers. They were awesome questions, and very thought provoking!

1: What erroneous assumptions have you found that we Americans make about Scotland, or about you as a Scottish person?

There have been many; some have surprised me, and some are understandable. I think the funniest erroneous assumption is that I am sophisticated and cultured. There are a couple that just seem ignorant; that Scotland is a part of England and that English is not my first language ('Wow, you speak English real good'). Another very common one is that I am familiar with every facet of Scottish culture and know every folk song and singer there ever was. Often, Americans seem to think Scotland and Ireland are the same place. I have never been accused of cheapness, luckily. But it has been assumed I know how to play golf, and am interested in doing so (nope).

2: If you could send a message to yourself at any point in the past, what (and when) would the message be? (For the sake of argument, let's exclude things like "Buy Microsoft at $5/share".)

I think I would like have told myself that I'm going to turn out to be pretty tough and self-sufficient, and I think I would have liked to tell myself that during college, when I felt sort of lost a lot of the time.

3: If you could be any fictional character, who would you be and why?

Sophie Fevvers, from Angela Carter's Nights at the Circus. She is a wonderful strong, mysterious, desirable, larger than life character. I also love that whole fin de siecle vibe in that book, when science was still somewhat magical and modernity was waiting in the wings, and I would loved to have been around at that time.

4: Which would you rather have had: your own childhood, or the one your son is having right now?

No question, mine. I loved my early childhood; I grew up in a small, pretty seaside town, and it seems like we spent every sunny day on the beach. I also loved having sisters and a dog when I grew up; I can't imagine being an only child. I do think my son and I are closer than I was to my parents growing up though, and he has more material things than we had.

5: If you could ask your cats a question and have them respond in English, what would it be?

What in hell do you DO all day?

To spread the joy, if you would like to be interviewed by me (I promise no papparazzi or upskirt shots), please leave a comment indicating your wish. I'll send you five questions, and you can post your answers on your blog, or on mine if you don't have one. Then explain on your blog how it all works and offer to interview someone else, and devise five questions for them. If you don't do this within three days, your penis will shrivel and dry and drop off. Or if you're a girl, someone whose penis you like will suffer the same fate.

Avril

Hmmm - a Quentin Tarantino rapist doll -err I mean action figure. On the one hand, I can see myself uncomfortably laughing at this if one of my friends had one, yet on the other, the concept behind it is pretty sick. Almost as sick as this.

I have a feeling this is a LOT harder than it looks.

These interlocking notebooks completely appeal to my stationery fetish.

This looks like the coolest museum ever (well, maybe not. It certainly has the coolest name. I love that kind of Brazil technology.

This has to be the fastest proposal ever. I wonder if it will last?

I have two CDs from Mykull to post. Next time, I promise!

Spring is Sprung

I think. Though maybe winter will come back again. This time of year makes me lament my doughy, pale blue genetic legacy, as my winterized limbs make their first eye-searing appearance in months. I wonder if thinking positively could make a difference. I'm not pasty, I'm alabaster. Doing six loads of laundry and housework and writing bills and writing software for 40 hours a week is a WORKOUT, baby.

I would totally wear these vintage Lame Giant dressies. They are so very cute. Though that olde worlde Lane Bryant model seems to carry all her weight in her cute little cherubic face and none on her kind of svelte looking body. She kind of looks like she should play basketball or something, a big strapping, athletic girl. Of course, those teensy hats and pincurls don't really help matters when you have a chubby face.

Is this canoe not one of the most awesome things you have ever seen? Can you imagine seeing all the fish swimming underneath you? Though in this neck of the woods, there's probably just yucky catfish and watersnakes.

I guess the impetus behind this was something similar, but it looks ghastly. You think they could do a computer simulation of walking over the Canyon in the Visitor Center or something, and it would be cheaper, safer and probably more impressive, rather than tearing up the actual Grand Canyon itself. That's just super tacky.

You know how they have all those Limited Edition candy bars, that make you feel like you ought to buy them before they disappear forever? How about these Limited Editions? Actually, I think vegetable Skittles could be kind of good, like V8 or something.

Work it out, baby

I have made another workout CD; ask for your copy NOW!!

I think it's funny that the trailers for Jim Carrey's next pretentious project, The Number 23, are more often than not followed by a Dr. Pepper commercial. I don't think that's accidental. I love that Dr. Pepper used to be called a "Waco". I suspect if you asked for one of those today, you might not get a soda.

This ultimate Swiss Army Knife is pretty cool.

I love this website, Gallery of the Absurd. I think Diaper Man bears a striking resemblance to Peter Griffin.

Marianne's Second Workout CD

Track	Artist
(Dancin' in the) Freaky Zone	The Prima Donnas
Writing On The Wall (Isan / Brutal Folly Remix)	Cities
Underwater (You and Me)	Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
I Don't Give A....	Peaches
When You Go Out	I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
Yell It Out	Violet Nine
No More Heroes	Stranglers
Await Rescue	65DaysOfStatic
The End	David & The Citizens
I Feel Love	Donna Summer
atlantis to Interzone	Klaxons
Touche-Moi	Stereo Total
Good Weekend	Art Brut
Hang Me Up To Dry	Cold War Kids
Wrong Time Capsule	Deerhoof
At Least	Baby Dayliner
Why Bother At All	Koufax
Destroy Everything You Touch	Ladytron
Hunger	Nicolai Dunger
Push Air	Pretty Girls Make Graves
Escape Clause	The Stairs
Home and Dry	Pet Shop Boys