In Vino Veritas

I think it's very interesting to see how people comport themselves when drunk. Mel is horrible; an aggressive anti-Semitic mysogonistic homophobe, whereas Jake seems kind of goofy, if obnoxious.

The last time I got drunk was karaoke night. It was intentional because a) I wasn't driving and b) there's no way I could have sung in public sober. Most of the time I stick to one or two beers; I don't really enjoy getting drunk that much. I'm a flirty, giggly and I'm sure, annoying, drunk. I will probably let you feel me up and there's a good chance I will try to feel you up in return.

I don't think your drunk personality is a reflection of your true personality, but rather those parts of your personality that are under wraps for whatever reason. For me, obviously, being a sensible, responsible single mom, draping myself over people and breathing beery endearments all over them is not something I can do very often. For Mel, being a total sociophobe is obviously frowned on. And Jake is a 'serious' actor most of the time, so acting like a frat boy is probably a blessed relief.

Do tell, what kind of drunk are you, and should I turn tail and run if I meet you in a state of inebriation?

Can you imagine fingerprinting young 'uns flying over here? I guess this is the flipside of using biometrics to identify people. I can't imagine this being done here, in spite of all the talk of erosion of civil liberties. Of course, if you are an immigrant or an asylum seeker, you get fingerprinted plus a lot more, usually a medical exam by a civil surgeon.

I just discovered I worked at two of the five best restaurants in Scotland! One Christmas, when I was a student, I worked at Ballachulish House as a chambermaid; it was absolutely beautiful, surrounded by snowy mountains in the middle of nowhere. And while I was in high school, I worked as a waitress at the Peat Inn.

Apparently, hungry men prefer heavier women. So how many men in this country are hungry? The homeless, the anorexic, teenagers and the dieting?

I know, I know

Yes, I haven't posted for a while - my son had a show to rehearse for which was pretty intensive, then we took sailing lessons at Lake Crabtree, which I highly recommend. $60 for six hours of lessons (even though one of the instructors was not that great, one of those pretty jocks).

The fifty albums that changed music. What, no Tubular Bells, Avalon, Revolver, A Night at the Opera, Never Mind The Bollocks, Low. I'm sure you can think of many more...

I love this Edinburgh link - I miss it so much, especially during the Festival. Even though it's jam-packed with tourists, there is so much energy and things to do and see. It seems like every church hall or meeting room has some kind of performance in it. It can be hit or miss, but I think that's part of the fun.

Someone blotted their copybook. With a big old splash of testosterone.

This is a strange story about foreign accent syndrome. It's interesting to think how much of your identity is in your voice. And does this mean that we all have the capacity to mimic other accents, we just need to short-circuit some synapse or other to do it?

Another of those people who I thought had already died aeons ago has died.

The Fall fashions are awfully familiar. Leggings, big sweaters, ankle boots, lots of black - what I wore during my twenties pretty much.

Here's fourteen(?) sexy sex scenes. I'm missing out because I've only seen five of them, and I have no desire to see Tom Cruise in a sex scene ever again, because it is just too ludicrous. The one in History Of Violence, where you actually get to see a man giving as well as getting oral sex - good fucking god.

Cheeky Questions

I think this topic popped into my head, because it seems like whatever you do on the Internet, you have to answer a bunch of nosy questions. It got me thinking about cheeky questions that people ask. Here's some that people have asked me in the past:

What is having a period like?
I think this is probably a question adolescent and immediately post-adolescent boys ask their girlfriends, and my stock answer is 'Exactly how you think it would be like', which is a cop-out I know. But honestly, do you think the average adolescent boy really wants to know? Here's the official answer.

Have you fallen out with your family?
Usually asked by people who live near their family, and have never moved away from them. No, I love and miss everyone in my family very much, I just have a good life here, and it's scary and hard to think of relocating back home on my own.

Have you always been fat?
I'm sorry, but if you ask me this, you're a bitch. No, I haven't always been this fat but I have never been teeny either. And, have you always been that ugly?

Do you worry about your son growing up without a dad?
Well, duh. But what is the point of worrying about something I have no control over? I try and do the best I can, thanks for pointing out my deficiencies.

Here's some questions I would love to ask people, but don't have the nerve:

How come you have so much money?

How come you have so little money?

How can you stand living with him/her?

Do you have any idea what an asshole you are?

Do you have any idea how hot you are?

How can you be so conceited?

Do you think I'm pretty? Yes, I am insecure and judgemental; why do you ask?

This kind of shocked me; apparently one in four Americans feels like they have no close friends. If you consider that 55% (or thereabouts) of Americans have a partner (and therefore presumably, have at least one close friend), that means that about half of all single people feel completely friendless. That is astonishing and sad.

I love this dress. It's a pretty good deal too.

That hot dog eating competition grosses me out. Over 50 hot dogs in 12 minutes? It makes me feel queasy just to think about it. Reading about training for competitive eating makes me barf a little in my mouth.

God's People

Well, we're coming up to the 4th July, which is making me ponder a superficial question. What makes an American look American? I only know that they stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd of other nationalities. My son does not look 'American' to me. yet he has lived all his life here.

Americans to me always seem a bit more confident, and simultaneously a bit more wholesome and naive than other nationalities. They talk a little louder and move a little faster. And seem a little more oblivious to nuance, though having lived here for a while, I think sometimes this is a conscious choice rather than cluelessness. These are not necessarily bad things - I grew up in an atmosphere where people were crippled by nuance, and not wanting to draw attention to themselves.

Then of course, there are superficial matters like clothing and hair and makeup. I pretty much refuse to wear athletic shoes as everyday shoes, and always will; I will not wear baggy clothing because I like my shape even though I'm fat and ought to feel ashamed of it; I think a little makeup is better than both none or the full works; I hate khakis; I take great care not to get tan. I think all of these things make me look un-American.

I think Americans prize looking casual, informal, active and approachable, no matter what their station in life is. I think they like to look like they have a lot of leisure time, which of course they don't, as they work harder than anyone else. I know this is a hugely broad stereotype, but it is kind of fun to paint with large strokes sometimes.

Not entirely off-topic, Susie Bright had a couple of totally brilliant posts lately: How to Ruin a Women's Sex Life in 30 days or less and The Straight Man's Guide to Lousy Sex. Not that I have anything to ruin, but I thought these posts were both hilarious and perceptive, and unfortunately, I have known both that woman and that man, and even more unfortunately, I have known that man in the biblical sense, which was as bad as you might imagine.