Do you feel guilty? I feel guilty
about so many things that I think guilt is a permanent state of being for me. Here are all the things that make me guilty:
Not spending enough time with my son
Not spending enough time at work
Not having the same things my son's friend's families have
Being an inattentive daughter, sister and friend
Living away from my family
Wanting to move near my family
Using up too many natural resources by having air conditioning, throwing away food and having too much stuff
Perpetuating sexism, racism and discrimination by not calling people out on tasteless jokes or remarks
Perpetuating sweatshops and bad working conditions by not seeking out ethical products or by being cheap
Bitching about other people
Having a shitty car
Not working out enough
Spending too much money
Caring about being fat
Being too lazy
Spending too much time doing housework
Having a libido
Acting like a submissive girlie
I know these make no sense at all, and that feeling guilty is pointless, but yet, I am. Of course, I feel guilty about my feelings of guilt.
I do feel a little less guilty about the number of shoes I own. My God, I am a neophyte compared to some of these women, owning maybe twenty-five pairs. I figure in North Carolina, you have to have a lot of shoes - a good collection of sandals for the summer, and good winter shoes too, that can handle ice. Of course, I have huge feet, which might temper any shoe addiction I might have. I have a hard time embracing high heels, which would make me six feet plus.
This whole terror plot that was foiled this week is fascinating to me. Here is a really interesting article about the roots of European Muslim extremism - basically a push-pull between two radically different cultures, mixed with poverty and discrimination, that affects second and subsequent generations Muslims. It certainly highlights to me that a war in Iraq does nothing to combat terrorism, and that perhaps addressing the socio-economic concerns that breed a generation who feel sufficiently disconnected from both their home country and their parent's ideology to embrace such extremism might.