And another one

My darling son has been telling me about his school bus driver, who forces the boys to be chivalrous and give up their seats for girls. I just can't believe in this day and age that this still happens. It really bothers me - what is the message here? That girls are more feeble and need a seat more, or that chivalry is only practised by men towards women, or that manners need to be imposed upon the unwilling? Never mind the fact that there aren't enough seats for everyone.

I was buying The Information from Overstock.com (coz I want the stickers and the videos and the Scientology subliminal brain washing and all that other stuff) when I got an exceedingly annoying pop-up for a live assistant.

I detest obsequious service, and I thought online shopping was a haven from it. I hate when waiters ask you 50,000 times how everything is, usually when your mouth is full of something unflattering like spinach salad. I hate when shop assistants follow you around and ask if you can find everything ok or if they can help you with anything, usually when you're fingering the gusset of a gigantic pair of granny panties or musing on whether you need super plus or super plus plus tampons. I hate the feeling that Big Brother is hovering over your shoulder, ready to chip in with his opinion on your purchasing choices - "Honey - super plus plus. No question".

The ex-White House Chef has written a tell-all book. Apparently, the Bushes are rather boring about their food, surprise, surprise, and took advantage of state dinners to pay tribute to their big donors with disgusting recipes such as turkey stuffed with Dunkin' Donuts. I think they should hire this man as the White House chef.

I kind of want this CD, not least because of it's name. But also because I like what I've heard from it too.

Rainy Day

I hate Caroline. I feel like I ought to like it because of the ethereal thing which I usually love, but somehow she makes me want to barf. Too sweet.

Speaking of things that make me barf, video games really do a number on me. Maybe I have some inner ear thingie, but I can't play them for more than about ten minutes. Which is fine because they do NOTHING for me. But occasionally my son will persuade me to play video games with him, and everytime I do, I'm bored out of my gourd. Except for DDR, which is awesome. I think the problem is that I am excessively non-competitive, at least in the sports/games arena of life.

I am kind of competitive about being a mother, though. I want my son to be successful to show a single mom can do a good job.

There are a bumper crop of really creepy toys this year. I have to say, "Love and Grow" is a horrible name for a doll. I know where my mind goes when I read that name.

Speaking of inappropriately sexy things, my son and I always make a point of visiting the doggy hooker section of Target (as we call it), whenever we are there. It's fascinating - who buys this stuff? Why would you dress you dog in a bling encrusted pink velour boob tube? Or a friggin' tutu?

Birth Of A Nation's Cuisine

The State Fair, with it's stunning array of fried food, including deep fried coke, as mentioned by my dear friend, reminds me of Scotland's role in creating these wonderful gastronomic delights.

Scotland, home of the deep fried Mars bar, mother of all deep-fried desserts, and of the deep fried pizza, an exercise in total deep frying redundancy. Imagine, if you will, an individual frozen pizza the size of a salad plate, immersed in it's bath of molten beef tallow and plumping up to the size of a tractor tyre. Imagine biting into it's yielding crust and the hot, meaty, oil spurting down your chin. Other Scottish delicacies include the baked bean pie, topped with mashed potato, and the macaroni cheese pie. The anti-Atkins diet, if you will. Mmmmmm! No wonder Scotland has such a stellar health record.

Yet another exhibit to prove my deep nerdiness; I love maps. I love that there is no such thing as a 'definitive' map. I love looking at familiar places in lots of different ways.

Sometimes, a respected source seems to state the bleeding obvious. I mean, it's obvious on an intuitive level, although I think it complicates a lot of issues to think this way rather than in polarities. I like Susan Greenfield's article in Science & Spirit. That looks like an awesome magazine.

Life's Small Victories

It's funny how a succession of small things can make your day good. I started out the day talking to my mum, as I always do on Saturday, and my dad made me laugh so hard because he was making shadow animals over the phone.

Then my son and I scored at Thriftworld for his Halloween malevolent clown costume - we got a bright red pair of pants, a hideous tie, a green and a yellow t-shirt for under $10.

Then I got carded buying beer at Target. I haven't been carded in ages. With my gigantic son standing right beside me, no less.

Then I went home, and the guy across the road had the cutest little puppy (which looked sort of like this), and Mykull and I played with it for a while. The puppy, I hasten to add, knowing the readership of this blog.

Then my son and I went for a walk with Jenny along the River Eno, and it was really beautiful and relaxing.

Though the news that Air America is filing for bankruptcy is kind of a bummer. And that fat fuck is still going strong.

Das euroslutten

That's Mykull. Every time I listen to one of his mix CDs, I want to dress him up in a black turtlneck and make him smoke Gauloises. He has a streak of eurotrash a mile wide. And excellent musical taste, of course. Including a couple of Scottish bands - yay!

Mykulls ES Mix

Track	Artist
Here Comes the Sun	Nina Simone
Wildcat	Ratatat
Your Ghost	Kristen Hersh
Rental Car	Beck
Let Your Body Decide	The Ark
Smiley Faces	Gnarls Barkley
Silent Shout	The Knife
It's Getting Light Outside	Clearlake
The Advancing Flags	Lansing-Dreiden
Lonely Soul	DJ Shadow
1234	Cansei de Ser Sexy
Miss You	The Concretes
Coming in from the Cold	The Delgados
Friendship Update	The Go! Team
I Love My Jean	Camera Obscura
Leave Me Here	Hem
Shower Scene	Saint Etienne

I feel a mix coming on....

Specifically, a workout mix to celebrate my new found relationship with the gym. Not that you would notice, but still. Let me know if you're interested - I anticipate posting/burning pretty soon

About bloody time

I've been working on a workout CD but am too lazy to do liner notes this time. And I know Neko Case is probably not quite bouncy enough to work out to, but I fucking love her voice. Got a problem with that? I also fucking hate that there is a high percentage that seem to be in commercials. But I still like them.

Marianne's Workout CD

Track	Artist
(Get A) Grip (On Yourself)	The Stranglers
Baby C'mon	Stephen Malkmus
Circle Square Triangle	Test Icicles
Cold World	The Electric Soft Parade
Could Be Anything	The Eames Era
Dance Me In	Sons & Daughters
Fraud In The '80s	Mates of State
If You Knew	Neko Case
Low Life	SCANNeRS
My Doorbell	The White Stripes
Debaser	Pixies
Sister Jack	Spoon
Skip To The End	The Futureheads
Solid Gold Easy Action	Marc Bolan & T.Rex
This Charming Man	The Smiths
to be myself completely	belle and sebastian
Venus In Furs	Devotchka
Wolf Parade	Fancy Claps
You Better Get Ready	The Rosebuds

Sex, Death and Music

Apparently, these are the most popular songs to play at a funeral. Are people really that cheesy? It reminds me of that Noel Coward quote, "Extraordinary how potent cheap music is". If I buy the farm, I would just like a cadre of chanting monks. Not chanting "My Heart Will Go On", I hasten to add.

It made me think about songs that make you cringe. Sometimes When We Touch has got to be on top of my list. Unless Mykull is singing it to me, in which case I melt. Here's some other candidates:

Lady In Red - Chris de Burgh

Strokin' - Clarence Carter

You Light Up My Life - Debbi Boone

Honey - Bobby Goldsboro

You're Having My Baby - Paul Anka

Vincent - Don McLean

I Feel Like A Woman - Shania Twain And after looked at the lyrics of all of these, I have to say the squickiest is "You're having my baby". If anyone ever knocks me up and is tempted to play this song, I will personally castrate them with a rusty pair of blunt scissors.

Here's an interesting concept; a vibrator controlled by your iPod music. Original idea, but you would have to get your playlist exactly right.

Well, my annual pumpkin carving party is fast approaching, and I would love to make some gory food. Especially that bloody heart - it's awesome.

Itchy Feet

For some reason, I have been suffering an attack of major itchy feet. I want to go to a completely unfamiliar place where I know nothing and no-one, and get to know it. I've done this before, a few times, and it's simultaneously the most nerve-wracking and exciting experience.

Of course, I have a kid and a job and a mortgage so I'm staying put, so I'm feeding my addiction by watching The Long Way Around. Ewan McGregor is the most perfect specimen of manhood ever. In looks, personality and just sheer manly adventurousness.

This author has come up with an interesting way to make money - purchase a character in his book. Smacks a bit too much of Mad Libs to me.

I just found out that Jarvis is scheduled to come out on my birthday. How very convenient.

This is fucked up beyond belief.